Me I..... An autobiography. My fictitious life.
First, let me begin by apologizing. The writing of this book has taken an impossibly long time to start. Impossibly long for those of us in the microwave generation.... I suppose.
Everyone else knows that these things take time; and even those who don't, know that there are some things that take time and that this, more likely than not, falls into that category.
So, my apologies go to those of you who .....erm, whose patience has gotten severely tested by my going ons on how I was gonna start writing.... soon.
Me I never make excuses... Not for me, not for anyone. My mother told me... all the time, no one likes people who make excuses.... Of course she also told me that life was no popularity contest.
But I do want you to like me.... enough to make you want to buy my future publications. I honestly don't have a good excuse for not starting sooner... I have literally spent the last few weeks trying to think one up... to no avail.
Secondly, another disclaimer.... Oops! My bad. I guess this should've come before the apology. Oh well...
For you the Literary critics and the rest of you who are looking for a serious read... Good Luck, you might actually stumble across a passage or two that may closely resemble what you looking for, but I doubt it.
Me I..., is just a chronicling of my life.... as I know it, and not a quest for critical acclaim. Should it turn out to be worthy... well, I'll take the lump sum payment. That way I can drink it all away and you can all have something to write about in your gossip columns.
I can see the Headlines already.....
So Much For An Oprah Endorsement (Unable to handle his new found fame, Kei turns to the bottle for solace)
In the meantime, here goes nothing.
************************************
Today:
Today I decided to finally write this darn book. Never mind the applause. They say the first step is the decision, then the hard work begins.Judging by how easy those last three lines came to me.... I think the actual writing will be a piece of cake. If only this buzz in my head would go away. I think its my muse trying to tell me something.... we've been have some miscommunication issues lately, my muse and I.
Oh! I think I know what she's fussing about... we drank up the last bottle of Vodka last night.That's her fuel you know.... tis the way she operates. I on the other hand could do without the hangovers the morning after. Especially since my duties at the slave shop don't call for the abilities of my muse.
Tsk Tsk.... Sorry guys.... I honestly meant to get going on this damn book tonight... am aching almost as much as you are to quench your desires... but she'll have none of it, not without that Vodka. She's so freaking stubborn...
Now I understand Hollywood's frustrations with the striking writers..... all this time I thought Jay Leno wrote his own jokes. I guess the joke is on me.
Tomorrow... I promise. I swear on my unearned royalties
